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My Sanctuary Above The Noise.

This is where I pour my thoughts in and record my daily adventures~~~


The realest thing I ever wrote.



It’s been a few years since I quit porn, and I’ve written and podcasted tons about porn addiction. I still get random emails and an assortment of friends who ask me for help to quit. I used to reply eagerly, get in their mess, ask…

She was complaining how her apartment got trashed by her former boyfriend (she and him moved in a couple of months ago I think) and how it was so immature of him to do so…

Honestly, I feel really bad for her after seeing the pictures of her apartment but dang gurllll, you can’t play with fire without expecting to not get burned.

Knowing the dude myself (he was always sort of those unsavory types in high school…bless his heart), and knowing how they moved in together, this just reinforces my view on how couples should not move in together or share keys oh my goodness…


[Angry post. Sorry.]

I know too many Christians who are yelling, “Don’t guilt-trip me bro, you can’t judge my faith, don’t be a hater, Jesus loves me no matter what” — and this is really a pseudo-grace that doesn’t even begin to address the complex reality of our messed-up beat-up hearts.


“Grace is not so much any one action or rule or attitude, but grace is more of a story about broken people being loved and healed.

Let me tell you about my first pastor. When I first came to church over ten years ago, I was a stubborn thick-headed horny atheist who was looking for hot Christian girls. I hated the sermons but I kept coming back: because there was something about this pastor.

He endured with me. I asked him tons of annoying questions about God and the Bible, but he answered them patiently. I screwed up a lot: I slept with a few girls in the church and confessed them all, but he never flinched. He called me and texted me when I never replied. He bought me lunches, dinners, books, and sent cards to my house. He spent hours praying for me. He never once lost his temper with me.

Over time, I realized how much of a jerk I was to him. I didn’t listen; I was late all the time; I got drunk and went to strip clubs on Saturday nights before strolling in hungover on Sundays; I hardly asked how he was doing. BUT: he was endlessly loving. And the grace of this man completely melted me. I’ve known him now for thirteen years, and there’s no way I could be the person I am today without him.

I remember small moments. When one day I was horribly depressed, and he wrote me a letter right in front of me. When I got out of the hospital from swallowing a bottle of pills, and he listened without judging. When I was sobbing hysterically one day and he gripped both my hands and told me, "It’ll be okay. God still loves you and He will never stop."

Even now, my eyes glisten and my heart swells at his sacrifice. His grace fundamentally ripped away my selfishness and disturbed my ego. I deserved nothing and he gave me his all.”

J.S. from this post (via jspark3000)

Dang dude I’m bewildered

(via jspark3000)

asked me why I was short today at church and I was like,

"The only thing that matters in this world is power. Power to destroy your enemies." -dark sinister grin as I hover over him- 

LOLLLL he was like AHHH WHY ARE YOU SO SCARY!!! -runs off-

In hindsight, I shoulda added Jesus at the end just because LOl



Anonymous asked (edited for length):

I know you lovingly and jokingly ‘hate’ on reformed churches. I spent half my life in a reformed Church, but after moving states, I’ve been called to a somewhat more ‘neutral’ denomination … But I miss the deep theology and…

"I remember the taste of your milk in my mouth." -The most idiotic quote from Lucy-

Yeah it’s a pretty bad movie LOL

Crap. Crap. Crap.

They took too much liberty into concepts that they mentioned in the plot…

It looked like they ran out of money halfway through the movie.


“Occasionally we let someone in, we open the folds of our insecurity and give access to the darkest parts of us. We hand over the key, and it’s terrifying. And sometimes they bump into a raw nerve, they say a callous insensitive remark, they ridicule a strange notion we have, they poke at our dreams just a bit. It hurts pretty bad and we push them out and fold up fast. We remind ourselves, “This is why I don’t let anyone in.” And we run.

It’s right here that most people apologize like crazy. They feel terrible. They were trying to figure out how to navigate the labyrinth of your wonderful story. It’s like holding a tiny flash light in a cave of a new world. They didn’t mean to provoke those old wounds. They didn’t mean to poke fun at your dreams. They considered it an honor that they held the key, even for a few frenzied moments.

Intimacy takes work, trust, wounds, hurts, sculpting in the dark: and that takes time. It takes more than a single chance. Of course we can close the doors, at any second, when we know it just won’t work. But there are many opportunities if we had trusted a little longer, reset the tempo, and spoke up louder: it would’ve been okay. Bridges would be built. New stories are made. You find your hand closing around theirs. They begin to traverse the folds of your heart with ease, and they learn to say those things which give life, which give freedom, which grow dreams. Intimacy is formed out of stumbling, but further down the path: there is so much light, so much laughter, so many steps to the horizon together.”

J.S. (via jspark3000)

I just want to throw my patience out the window and take my brutal honesty laser gun and ZAP ZAP ZAP ZAP -EXPLOSION- ZAP ZAP BOOM BANG ZAP some people because of their thinking (even when I know that isn’t the way to go)…

And sometimes when its actually justified, I get scared in doing so…

I’m sooo weakkkk

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